Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Clown Smoking a Cigarette (2021)

Editor's Note: This is a completely uncensored, unhinged look at where I'm at right now. I just finished Fake Accounts which, despite not liking it, inspired me to write about my life in a style similar to Oyler's candid dissatisfaction. I am okay, I promise.

Earlier this week, while scrolling Instagram, I saw a painting of a clown smoking a cigarette. Me, I thought, because I am incapable of thinking in full sentences and also because I am narcissistic enough to project myself into something asvequally sophisticated and removed (temporally and spiritually) as a 1914 Edward Hopper painting. Me, I thought, because it is not uncommon in 2021 to use "clown" as an insult or at least insult-adjacent. Urban dictionary: just a downright fool, someone who there's no other word for other than 'clown'...it explains how stupid they can be and how little you think about them. Okay, so maybe not me in that sense, but me in the sense that I frequently have no idea what I'm doing and subsequently have no idea what to think about my aforementioned lack of knowledge re: my own life and opinions. Also, the clown looks really sad. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it, but there's something soul-crushing about smoking in costume, right? Like, remember that time Barney-out-of-costume was caught smoking a cigarette, causing a subsection of parents who subscribed to FamilyFun magazine to create a petition demanding the actor be sent to Guantanamo Bay (I made that last part up, obviously)? I remember feeling sad for Barney, my kid brain unable to assign that sadness to a subconscious shame associated with doing something very adult (smoking) in the context of something very childish (a literal children's TV show). Anyway, let's not get into it because I think he turned out to be a sexual predator.

I started a job as a part-time bookseller. I spent the four-hour training learning how to use the register, look for books, restock shelves, etc. At times I felt useful, like when a woman asked for a copy of On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous and I immediately knew where to find it because I'm gay and also semi well-read. Other times, I felt like a clown smoking a cigarette, particularly when a woman demanded a refund after checking Amazon and learning she could have bought the same book for $10 less. I had no idea what to say. Like, no shit lady, have you been in a coma for the past ten years? Do you have no concept of what Amazon is doing to small businesses and community-oriented institutions? And that's not even addressing the global implications of increased optimization, corporate-funded politics, the accumulation of capital amongst a very small percentage of the world's population, etc. "The world sucks," I wanted to scream, "Why do you think I'm working here, dealing with your bullshit when I recently graduated from a top-tier university?" And then I realized: oh wait, I'm also an asshole. Why do I feel entitled to a certain type of life? Why do I feel embarrassed about the fact that I work a retail job? I'm not better or worse than someone else because of what I do (or, more importantly, what I don't do). 

Here's the problem: I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm literally a clown, fumbling in the dark, trying to find a light switch. Even if that light switch illuminated a small portion of the room I'm in, a dusty corner, for example, at least I'd have a point of orientation. Right now I just feel lost in every aspect of my life. I don't feel confident in my ideas. I'm lonely. I feel sad all of the time and I don't know why. Sometimes the future feels untenable, a black hole where all our possible realities converge into nothingness, a mass accumulation of climate disaster and right-wing politics and capitalist over-reach. Other times I wake up and feel invigorated by this same maplesness, encouraged by the future's potential for reinvention. But this excitement, similar to the excitement of telling a person off for buying her books on Amazon, seems displaced and entirely selfish. In the future of my own making, I think only of myself. I am working in publishing as an editorial assistant, commuting to work from my small but well-curated studio apartment in Brooklyn. I carry a tote bag on the subway and smoke joints on a fire escape. I reunite with my ex-boyfriend, also living in New York, who is impressed with how much I've changed, how intelligent and self-assured I've become. I tell him about the bad times, times when touching my hand to a burning saucepan or letting go of the steering wheel while driving along a particularly curvy part of the road felt more real, no longer ghastly figments of my imagination but the real thing, a Paranormal Activity-type ghost that might actually make me burn my hand or drive off the side of the road. Wow, the ex-boyfriend would say, amazed at my ability to persevere, to make it from there to here. But "here" is nowhere because, as I mentioned, this is all a perverse fantasy of the future, one completely devoid of the political realities of the 21st-century. As I take the train from Brooklyn to Manhattan, am I worried about the continuous erosion of the coral reefs in the Pacific? Am I happy, working this fake job? Is anyone happy? I wonder if my ex-boyfriend is happy. This entire post is, after all, about him. Or maybe not, I can't be sure. Like I said, I really don't know what's going on anymore. I'm completely lost. 

Please, where's the light switch? 


Monday, April 5, 2021

Taylor Swift ft. HAIM

 Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binaries of this blog, I present to you the dichotomy of my literary interests: The Guest List by Lucy Foley AND Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning by Cathy Park Hong. Sometimes I want to read about a wedding-based murder, and sometimes I want to educate myself on the complexities of identity formation within the United States. Unfortunately, I have not been able to find a book that does both! I started the week with Minor Feelings because Asian Americans are facing a surge in hate crimes that began last year when D_____ T____ weaponized race as a means of implicating blame for the covid-19 pandemic. Piece of shit. Anyway, the underlying violence and racism of this country did not go away when we (seemingly) took out the trash on November 3rd, and the vitriol towards Asian Americans is a constant reminder that this country is rotting from the inside out. We need to do something. We need to be allies and protestors and safe-havens and agitators and dismantlers. We need to say "fuck you" to an institution that is inherently racist, an institution that continues to insist there is nothing wrong precisely because it, no we, are unable to face the shame of the past. We need to do better, period. 

CUT TO: Tuesday, March 30th. I'm sitting on the couch, watching 13 Going on 30 when I get a news alert that a district about 2.5 hours away from where I live is offering mass vaccinations to anyone 16 and up. And I, famously, am 16 and up, so I pause the movie (right before Judy Greer goes rogue, steals Jennifer Garner's spread, and defects to a rival teen magazine), download The Guest List on Audible, and get in my car. And I'm off, speeding through the suburban hellscapes of Maryland, listening to a collection of English and Irish actors as they do their best to make The Guest List as camp as possible.  

CUT TO: Tuesday, March 30th. Later in the day. I'm sitting in the Starbucks drive-thru, officially a Pfizer girl. My left arm is a little sore and I'm feeling weirdly blase about the whole thing, like I've just driven 2.5 hours for something as innocuous as a physical. I've paused The Guest List so I can order a grande peach green tea. I'm about halfway through the book and there's no body,only the suggestion of violence. I want a body, and I want it NOW. 

CUT TO: Tuesday, March 30th. Back home. I'm nearly done with The Guest List, and guess what? STILL NO BODY. Alexa, play "No Body, No Crimes" by Taylor Swift ft. HAIM. Alexa, please send a direct message to the estate of Agatha Christie, apologizing for any and all comparisons made between The Guest List and And Then There Were None. I get it, there are a lot of similarities between the two books: a secluded setting, a collection of shady characters, all of them possessing motive to kill, a bad storm, bubbling tension among guests, etc. But Agatha Christie's novel has one thing that Lucy Foley's does not— a body count. The Guest List is a whodunnit with an added layer of being a "whodunwhat", as in who did it and also WHAT did they do? There's literally not a dead body until about 260 pages into the novel, and that just doesn't cut it for me. If I'm reading a thriller I want to be thrilled, not mildly amused by a collection of straight people making fools out of themselves at a chic wedding off the Irish coast. Okay, maybe I was thrilled by a collection of straight people making fools out of themselves at a chic wedding off the Irish Coast, but seriously NO BODY, NO CRIME, NO GOOD REVIEW. 

CUT TO: Wednesday, March 31st. I'm returning from the bookstore with a physical copy of The Guest List because I have a disease, and that disease is needing a physical copy of any book I've consumed. I finish the book and immediately call 911 to request emergency transport to the nearest hospital. I am experiencing literary whiplash. I just spent the last 50 pages of the book being thrown from one POV to the other, some lasting only a few paragraphs, all the while completely losing interest in who killed who and why because, let's be honest, they were all kind of annoying. The dispatcher denies my request for helicopter transport, so instead, I nurse my wounds by drafting a witty, bone-cutting review of a book that I managed to finish in two days. Okay, so maybe The Guest List isn't all that bad...

After finishing The Guest List, diving back into Minor Feelings felt hard, like training for a marathon by running in place for a few seconds before you get bored. Hong's collection of essays, which isn't really a collection of essays but a hybridized memoir/cultural criticism that takes the form of many smaller, more compact narratives, addresses complicated issues of identity and intersectionality, often drawing from both personal and theoretical frameworks to crack open the Asian American consciousness as wide as possible. At times I did not understand what I was reading, so I'd go back and read and re-read again until the ideas within the prose began to take shape in my mind. Other times, I would finish an essay, "Portrait of an Artist", for example, and feel like the point was more nebulous, something I gained simply from reading her work and acknowledging the complexities of thought. Hong is a trained poet, so it's not surprising that her writing is constantly flawless and occasionally impenetrable. But again, it is not always the point to penetrate beyond the words, but to appreciate the beauty of her syntax and find meaning where you can, humanity where you cannot. I will think about this book for a very long time. 

If you're interested, New York Magazine has a great article that lists 68 different ways you can show support towards Asian American communities in the US. Link: https://nymag.com/strategist/article/where-to-donate-to-help-asian-communities-2021.html. 

xoxoxoxo, 

swiftie out! 

#StopAsianHate

Clown Smoking a Cigarette (2021)

Editor's Note: This is a completely uncensored, unhinged look at where I'm at right now. I just finished Fake Accounts which, despit...